Epiphany.

You know what… when I was preparing for 6 months to get my surgery, I read all the books and blogs, talked with doctors and nutritionists, and was committed to this life change, I honestly thought it would be easier.

Even though I KNEW it was going to take work, I failed to act upon my knowledge.

I am the queen of knowing how to maintain post band! But I am supposed to be losing, not maintaining. I fool myself into thinking that my body is different and that maybe I am just meant to be going slower than I thought I would be going. Here I am 10 months post band, and I have only lost 36 lbs. In my mind, I should have been at least 60lbs down.

What is going on?

I took a break from blog land to get away from successful bloggers, because I was feeling bad that I was not as successful as they were. I came back, refreshed, and ready to start focusing again, and you know what…. still, after a year and a half from the very beginning of my journey, my mindset was still wrong.

I was reading some of my favorite blogs, and I read something that just kind of hit me. Something to the effect of “I never ate that while I was in the losing phase…” and I was like… well, isn’t that funny. Sure, I have changed my eating habits dramatically since having Lap band surgery, but I pretty much been maintaining for the last 6 months.

I thought I was doing it right by the food choices I was making, tracking the food in my fitness pal, exercising.

Maybe that’s still the problem though. Pre-band, I would struggle to maintain. I would gain and lose, gain and lose. Post band, I lost and now I maintain.

Here is my epiphany…. And yes… I am sure some of you are like…. Duh, why did it take you so long to figure it out???

Maybe what I think is losing, isn’t. Maybe what I have been doing IS actually my body’s maintenance. I know I think to myself all the time, “Well, pre-band, I would have eaten a full bowl of ice cream, now I just eat a cup.” Helloooooo during losing phase, I should stay away from those high calorie sliders to begin with.

Epiphanated plan: until I get to goal weight, I need to be strict; I WILL be strict with my eating. I will NOT justify a smaller portion of “forbidden foods” until I hit goal weight.

Sure there will be slip ups here and there. I am far from perfect, but if I go into this new mind set of short term strictness, I can slowly incorporate those treats once I hit goal and onto the maintenance phase.

Long story short: I think/hope I get it now. Let the pounds start falling as my plan takes shape.

Refreshed

Hi Blogland -
I am feelin' good...
My newest obsession = Bike riding
The oddly, but maybe good/ bad part = weight gain

I am so hoping it is muscles. We have been biking about 10 miles a night, 5 nights a week.  Maybe it is just water weight...


That sticks around....



.... for a couple months.....



Maybe not. :)



What matters is that I feel great and people have been commenting on how my face looks thinner. I have a mini goal of loosing 5 lbs before my maid of honor flys up here at the end of the month. I am going on a refresh my mind mission and go back to basics and really focus. Wish me luck!

Cruise Ships back in town

I hate winters.. but I absolutely LOVE the summers here when the cruise ships start showing up. Downtown comes to life and the streets are crowded with tourists. It makes me so happy. Finally we have a break in the cold and rain, so I am rarin' to get outside. I am back on track with my C25K, but I restarted week 4 since I had a couple weeks off for travel. Dock walks at lunch, and softball or fishing at night! Pretty sure it will be a piece of cake to get in my 10,000 steps.
Speaking of cake... someone at work brought in a super chocolate decadent cake, and my desk is in the middle of our office, so all the junk gets placed right by me all the time. It looks good, and I am sure it tastes good, but enough with the sweets. I don't have the best will power, and so far, my band lets me eat what I want, so it's up to me.

I have been trying to find foods that are good for me, but also that I enjoy, and I came across the Mediterranean Diet. Has anyone heard or tried it?
The food looks like something I would like to eat on a regular basis. I might just give it a try. I need to do something to get my head in the game again.

Happy Hump Day!!!

I'm back and ready to move forward

Hi blogland.
I have been MIA for a while. If you used to keep up with me, I am sorry I abandoned you, but I needed the break.
Life has been getting back to a steady pace. My house is back to normal (from the damage of the burst pipe), wedding plans are pretty much completed...at least the big stuff, and although I have been trying to keep up with weight loss efforts, it is time to get more motivation. Blogging helped with that. Thinking of this as a fresh, new start!

Starting weight: 291
Today's weight: 256

35 pounds lighter than I was. Still have a long ways to go, but even though the scale is moving at a glacial rate, my clothes are loose, and I am a true size 18. That is great! I have been jogging almost daily, I feel great, I just need to keep up on my fills and come up with an eating plan that works for me. I think that is the toughest part for me.

Are there any good resources you use for deciding on an eating plan?

By the way, how have all of you been? I'm not going to lie... as I am writing this post, I am realizing how much I've missed being online keeping up with all of you!

It's getting hard to blog.. debating

I am finding it hard to keep up with my blog. Not really because of time restraints, which is sometimes, but not enough to keep me from blogging, but because I am discouraged. I had hopes of rocking this band. I was mentally ready before surgery, and I still do not regret my surgery at all, but I have lost the drive to try.
I need a fill.
I need to go back to basics.
I need to get moving again.

But I don't feel like keeping up anymore.

Weigh in Day and a great motivator for me

Starting weight: 291
Last time I weighed in (12/14/12) : 258.6
Today: 259.4

Just a little up.. but still in the same place. I got a fill right before I left for my Christmas vacation, and I felt like that fill was pretty good. I definitely felt the stop signal. It was great. I think it has loosened it's grip just a tad, but I feel full for the appropriate amount of time on the food size I eat, so onwards to getting back to exercising. I think the fact I pretty much maintained is great, but had I exercised.. I probably would have done a lot better.

So, I have the ultimate, tangible motivation now. If you didn't read my last post, I got engaged. :) The funny thing is, I was "just browsing" wedding dresses online, because I had no idea what I would even like. Funny though, I found one I really liked, showed it to my mom, and she bought it right then and there. It is returnable, so I figured this would be the best way, since there are no bridal shops in Juneau. Well, my package arrived yesterday (which happened to be my birthday. woohoo for packages on my birthday!), I opened it, and there it was. My wedding dress. It was just like the picture, only I ordered it in a size 16, and I am currently in between 18-20 right now, but I skyped my family and tried it on. I could get it over my butt and sort of up. Enough to see the shape on my body. It is perfect. We all love it! What a find. for $350 bucks.. it is amazing. But of course, I can't fit into it fully. We plan to get married April of next year, so I have a year and 4 months to reach that goal, and hopefully exceed it so I need it taken in. :) It is risky, but it is a huge motivation. Anytime I get side tracked.. I know I can look in my closet, and keep going for my goal.
Call me crazy, but I love it!

I've missed you!

Hi blog land!
It has been a while! So many things have happened that are keeping me too busy, but I will catch you up.. mostly because it's pretty exciting.
First, my man and I took a trip to Idaho to spend Christmas with my family. SO.MUCH.FUN! I love my family to pieces. Here is a picture of me and my sister for our date night.

OKAY, Second, we flew back on NYE, got home to find that a pipe had burst and flooded the whole first floor... of our new house! Not a way to come back from vacation. Luckily, within hours, our carpet was gone, and the insurance adjuster said it is covered, and I get new floors (YAY.. No more teal carpet) and possibly new cabinets and countertops. Oh... and new insulation in our crawl space. So without even unpacking our bags, we grabbed them and headed to my man's parents house. Not the way I wanted to spend NYE...

New Years Day... I was sitting on the couch flipping through cabinet designs, when my man approached me and told me he was sad that 2012 ended on such a bad note, but that 2013 should start off on a great note.. and PROPOSED!!! I'M ENGAGED!!!

Holy mixed emotions batman... but, because it's me, I thrive on coordination and excitement, so I am happy as a clam. BTW.. Where do these sayings come from? Why is a clam happy?

Is it weird that I have only been engaged for a week and I pretty much have the wedding planned out? I even had to start from scratch. We were going to get married on a cruise ship.. that's how we met, but our families really want certain people to go, so we decided to stick with land and head to Las Vegas. It will be classy and super fun!

Andddddd we also got an addition to the family.. This is Macy! She warms my heart.

I told you I had a lot to share. Lots going on, but all in all..happy.. and on a weight loss note.. I didn't once get on the scale while on vacation, and I didn't make the best choices, but I did watch portion sizes. I was happy to find that when I got on the scale this morning, I was only .2lbs up. I know it is up, and not a loss, but trust me.. I am soooooo happy with that. I have never been able to not gain at least 5 lbs when home for Christmas.



I am back on blog land, back on the bandwagon, and can't wait to catch up on all your stories.