Epiphany.

You know what… when I was preparing for 6 months to get my surgery, I read all the books and blogs, talked with doctors and nutritionists, and was committed to this life change, I honestly thought it would be easier.

Even though I KNEW it was going to take work, I failed to act upon my knowledge.

I am the queen of knowing how to maintain post band! But I am supposed to be losing, not maintaining. I fool myself into thinking that my body is different and that maybe I am just meant to be going slower than I thought I would be going. Here I am 10 months post band, and I have only lost 36 lbs. In my mind, I should have been at least 60lbs down.

What is going on?

I took a break from blog land to get away from successful bloggers, because I was feeling bad that I was not as successful as they were. I came back, refreshed, and ready to start focusing again, and you know what…. still, after a year and a half from the very beginning of my journey, my mindset was still wrong.

I was reading some of my favorite blogs, and I read something that just kind of hit me. Something to the effect of “I never ate that while I was in the losing phase…” and I was like… well, isn’t that funny. Sure, I have changed my eating habits dramatically since having Lap band surgery, but I pretty much been maintaining for the last 6 months.

I thought I was doing it right by the food choices I was making, tracking the food in my fitness pal, exercising.

Maybe that’s still the problem though. Pre-band, I would struggle to maintain. I would gain and lose, gain and lose. Post band, I lost and now I maintain.

Here is my epiphany…. And yes… I am sure some of you are like…. Duh, why did it take you so long to figure it out???

Maybe what I think is losing, isn’t. Maybe what I have been doing IS actually my body’s maintenance. I know I think to myself all the time, “Well, pre-band, I would have eaten a full bowl of ice cream, now I just eat a cup.” Helloooooo during losing phase, I should stay away from those high calorie sliders to begin with.

Epiphanated plan: until I get to goal weight, I need to be strict; I WILL be strict with my eating. I will NOT justify a smaller portion of “forbidden foods” until I hit goal weight.

Sure there will be slip ups here and there. I am far from perfect, but if I go into this new mind set of short term strictness, I can slowly incorporate those treats once I hit goal and onto the maintenance phase.

Long story short: I think/hope I get it now. Let the pounds start falling as my plan takes shape.